So.... I'm moving on friday and my heart is just not in it....

I dont want to move.... I dont love it here at all but I do love a few people here and I just dont know how I am going to cope with the day in day outs of life without those people.... without the opportunity to see them every day.... without the choice to jump into a cab and kick it over to their house...

Without them pulling me on their longboard.

Without leaving the grocery store with two pies because who can choose when it comes to pie...

without someone to steal sweaters from...

without the midnight walks down to the river.... without sitting on the rocks talking till I almost fell asleep...

Without chocolate and juice in those fucking tiny juice containers that make my carbon footprint huge....

without having to worry about how to cook food because we all know onions are the devil...

without punk, metal, rock, hiphop and the likes....

without my ginger collection.

I really don't think I can do this....


I went puddle jumping on my way home today... I couldn't hold back the tears... I know I need to keep it together but I just cant... I'm a mess and I really dont feel bad admitting that anymore...

I can't leave this place yet...


I cant leave these people yet...

I cant leave this person yet....

I cant leave this person....

I dont know what I'm doing anymore.